Okay, here we go.
I debated writing this. I tend to steer away from politics as much as possible, or anything controversial. Although I don’t completely shy away from these things, I’m selective on who I discuss them with.
However, having experienced a miscarriage and subsequent infertility, I can’t help but be triggered by the topic of abortion. And I felt it was time to speak up.
Abortion is something I rarely visualized before my miscarriage. It was something I never needed to contemplate. And I was never religious, so I didn’t take an automatic pro-life stance on the topic.
I suppose I just stuck my head in the sand.
To be completely honest though, the thought of getting pregnant in my early twenties caused me to at least consider abortion. And it scares me to think that back then I might have made that decision.
Fortunately that never happened.
Four years ago I had a D & C to remove the remnants of my 12 week old baby. In my book I wrote about the decision to use Planned Parenthood, for a variety of reasons. I wrote that every woman at the clinic that day was having an abortion (according to the staff).
At that time, I did not judge these women for making the decision to abort.
I still don’t.
I believe everyone is making the best decision he or she knows how in every given moment.
However, now that we are in the middle of a political year, my mind wanders to the controversial topic of abortion. And I find myself wishing it could be different.
What if there was a way to convince all of these women to place their babies for adoption?
What if they knew that millions of men, women, and couples are yearning to be parents, and would give anything for a chance to love and care for these babies?
What if they knew that 9 months of their lives would be a blip in their lives, and their decision not to terminate would be life changing for someone else?
But alas, I’m not considering the whole picture when I ask these questions. I’m not coming at it from a freedom to do what you choose with your body. I’m not considering the circumstances that led to the pregnancy. I’m not considering how the biological parents might feel when placing their baby for adoption. I’m not considering how the child might feel when being told he or she was placed for adoption.
I know. I’m well aware of all of this. I take pride in seeing things from multiple points of view. From putting myself in another’s shoes.
I’m just heartbroken, and I suppose you could say partial, to those who so desperately want a child, and the difficult road to getting there. My mind wanders to the thousands upon thousands of babies who are aborted, and my heart breaks even more.
I wish there was a way for all parties to feel satisfied.
I know. Wishful thinking.
A passionate infertility advocate, Jen Noonan destigmatizes the shame and guilt surrounding infertility and miscarriage. Her debut memoir, In Due Time, is available on Amazon at amzn.com/0996308601